I’ve had moments when my feelings were dismissed. You know the ones—where someone looks at you and says, “You're being dramatic," or “You need to get over it.” Whether it was a friend, a partner, or even family, they didn’t want to hear what I was feeling, let alone validate it. And it sucked. Let’s just say, if my emotions had a voice, they’d be screaming "I am valid!"
The truth is, emotions aren’t something you can just sweep under the rug. You can’t just get over something because someone else says so, no matter how many times they tell you that you’re “overreacting.” You feel what you feel because you are reacting to something that happened to you. That’s what emotions do—they tell you that something matters. So when someone tries to tell you that your feelings aren’t important or that you need to just “move on,” it’s like they’re trying to silence you. And that’s where the real harm happens.
Now, let’s talk about toxic relationships, because whether it's a family member, a friend, or a partner, we’ve all been there, right? The ones who, instead of hearing us, would rather manipulate our reality to make us think we’re wrong. Maybe you’ve had a friend who made you feel like you were "too sensitive" when you were just trying to express how you felt about their actions. Or maybe you’ve been in a relationship where your partner turned the tables and made you feel like you were the problem for being upset. Classic gaslighting.
But here's the thing: emotions don’t lie. If you're angry, sad, or hurt—it’s because something triggered you, and that’s a message to yourself, not to anyone else. Your anger? It’s your personal alarm bell. Your sadness? It’s your heart’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. And here’s the kicker: You’re allowed to feel however you feel. Even if it doesn’t make sense to someone else, it’s real to you. You don’t need permission to validate your emotions.
You know, there’s this weird idea that somehow, we’re supposed to be “immune” to negative emotions. Like, we should just be able to shrug them off and move forward. But that’s a lie. We’re human, and no one is exempt from pain or frustration. What we need to do is acknowledge those feelings and give them the space they deserve. You don’t heal by pretending something didn’t happen. You heal by sitting with it, processing it, and then deciding what to do next.
Toxic relationships thrive on this idea of invalidating your emotions. In a twisted way, these people want you to question yourself—your anger, your hurt, your frustration. They want you to doubt your instincts, so they can stay in control. It’s a game of power, and trust me, it’s exhausting. But the minute you stop questioning your feelings and start trusting your gut, that’s when things change.
I know it’s hard. It’s not easy to stand up for your feelings when someone tries to make you feel small. But I’ve learned (the hard way) that my emotions are mine. No one has the right to tell me that I’m overreacting, that I should get over it, or that I’m being too sensitive. I feel what I feel because I’ve lived my life, and my experiences are valid. So are yours.
And when it comes to relationships, whether they’re with family, friends, or lovers, always remember: It’s not about being perfect. It’s about respect. Respect for your emotions, your boundaries, and your experience. So, the next time someone tries to tell you how to feel, take a step back. Ask yourself: “Are my emotions valid? Or am I letting someone else’s reality erase mine?”
In the end, you’re the only one who knows what’s right for you. Trust yourself, validate your own feelings, and give yourself the space to heal in your own time. After all, your emotions are yours, and no one else has the power to take that away from you.
