You know the phrase, right? "I'm fine." It's one of those go-to answers we toss out when someone asks us how we’re doing, even though deep down we might be a mix of overwhelmed, confused, or on the verge of a breakdown. And yet, we say it with such confidence, as if “I’m fine” is an unspoken rule, a magic spell to make everything appear okay.
I’ll be honest—there’s something oddly comforting about saying it, isn’t there? Like if I say it enough times, eventually I’ll start believing it. Maybe if I say it loud enough, the universe will catch on, and all the chaos will just... vanish. Spoiler: It never works.
“I’m fine” has this funny way of being both a shield and a sword. It protects us from having to explain ourselves to people, but it also leaves us stuck in a place where we can’t ask for help because—well, we’re fine, right? But the truth is, we’re not. We're all carrying something, whether it's stress from work, relationship drama, or the weight of unmet expectations. And as much as we might want to push those feelings aside, ignoring them only makes the pressure build.
It’s funny, though. Even when I say “I’m fine,” I’m usually not fooling anyone. My friends know when I’m “fine” and when I’m really, truly fine. There's that shift in my voice, that little pause where I start to over-explain. But here's the thing: It's not about fooling others. It’s about fooling myself, about pretending that I have everything under control. Because—let's face it—admitting that you’re not fine is way more vulnerable than just keeping up the act.
But here’s where I’m starting to come around: I’m learning that it’s okay not to be “fine.” I mean, how many times do we need to hear “It’s okay not to be okay” before we actually let ourselves feel the things we’re hiding? It's a process, and yes, it’s messy. But maybe that mess is exactly what makes us human.
So, the next time someone asks how I’m doing, I think I’ll try something new: Maybe I'll say, "I'm working on it." Because, let’s face it, most of us are. Whether we're trying to figure out what to do with our lives, healing from something painful, or just getting through the day, we’re all in this together—no need to pretend.
And maybe—just maybe—"I'm fine" isn't the answer. Maybe the real answer is simply: "I'm here."
