You know that feeling, the one where you're endlessly trying to wrap your mind around why someone you trusted, someone you loved, someone who was supposed to be there for you, hurt you? It's like you're sitting at a table in your mind, desperately searching for the answers. What did I do wrong? Why would they do this to me? What did I miss? But let’s be real for a moment: the truth is, you don't need to understand it anymore. You don't owe them that.
Let me tell you something. I’ve been there. The person who hurt you—whether it’s a family member, a friend, or even a lover—has already shown you everything you need to know through their actions. Their betrayal, their disrespect, those words they threw at you in anger… they speak volumes. And no amount of analysis or deciphering will change that.
I’m not just talking about random betrayals, either. I’m talking about the deep, emotional scars that stay with you long after the incident. The things that fester and leave you questioning your worth. Trust me, I know. I’ve had my share of toxic family relationships, and I’ve spent way too much time trying to figure out why things went so wrong.
The thing is, the more I tried to figure it out, the more I kept getting stuck in the same loop. I was spinning in circles, asking why, always hoping for some magic explanation that would make me feel better. And then, I realized: it’s not my job to understand. It’s not my job to make sense of their mess. It’s not my job to fix something that’s already broken.
I spent so many years thinking that I needed to keep asking the question, trying to find the reason behind the actions. But here’s the kicker: the reason doesn't matter. What matters is what they did. And more importantly, what you choose to do next.
Look, you don't need to have a sit-down, heart-to-heart with someone who’s hurt you to gain closure. You don't need a deep explanation. You don’t owe them that. You owe yourself something much more valuable—peace. And peace comes from acceptance. From accepting that, yes, they hurt you. Yes, they betrayed your trust. Yes, they were disrespectful. And yes, you don't need to understand why. You don’t need to keep carrying the weight of their actions. They did what they did. And you’re not responsible for their choices.
Here’s where the real magic happens: once you accept that they hurt you, you free yourself. You stop looking for validation from the person who doesn't deserve it. You stop seeking an apology that may never come. And most importantly, you stop believing that their behavior has anything to do with your worth.
So, if you're reading this and nodding along, thinking of your own toxic relationships—whether it’s family, friends, or lovers—let me tell you: You don’t need to keep trying to piece the puzzle together. You don’t need to keep forcing yourself to understand someone who never took the time to understand you. You just need to accept it. And once you do, you can move on. You can move forward with your life, without the past weighing you down.
For me, it was letting go of the idea that I could somehow change people. I spent so much energy trying to fix the broken parts of my family, thinking that I could make them see what they were doing to me. But guess what? They never did. And that’s okay. Because, in the end, I didn’t need their approval to move on. I didn’t need their understanding to heal. What I needed was my own peace.
So, take a deep breath. Let go of the need for answers that you’ll never get. Accept what happened. And choose to move on. Because you deserve a life that’s not held hostage by someone else's toxic behavior. You deserve the freedom that comes with letting go.
It’s time to stop trying to figure it out. It’s time to accept it and move forward. And when you do, you'll find that the weight on your shoulders starts to lift, one step at a time.
Let’s be real—sometimes the best way to heal is by letting go of the need for closure from someone who doesn’t deserve your time or your heart. And trust me, you’ll be so much better for it.
