Every year the same thing happens. The clock hits midnight, fireworks go full Beyoncé, and suddenly the internet becomes a wellness boot camp. Everyone’s healing. Everyone’s evolving. Everyone’s journaling gratitude at sunrise with chlorophyll water and a nervous system “reset” playlist humming in the background.
And there I am… in my hoodie, hair in chaos mode, whispering to myself:
“New year, same me — and honestly? I’m not mad about it.”
Because this year, I’m retiring from the Broadway production of Look At Me, I’m Healing™.
The Role I Never Auditioned For
Somewhere between curated trauma dumps on TikTok and the “soft girl healing arc” trend of 2026, I accidentally signed up for a role I didn’t remember auditioning for:
✨ The Girl Who Is Always Growing™.
The internet loves her.
She’s calm.
She’s reflective.
She speaks in gentle affirmations like she bleeds lavender.
Meanwhile, the real me?
Sometimes my inner child wants a snack AND a nap.
Sometimes my boundaries wobble like a toddler on roller skates.
Sometimes “self-care” means blocking someone before I send the paragraph I REALLY want to.
And sometimes I am NOT healing — I’m just tired.
Where’s HER TikTok trend?
The Pressure To Be Spiritually Polished
Let’s be real.
Somewhere along the line, healing became content.
You can’t just be heartbroken —
you have to turn it into an aesthetic montage with piano music and quotes about alignment.
You can’t just be single —
you have to call it a “self-love era.”
You can’t just block someone —
you have to say you're “protecting your peace.”
And if you’re not documenting your growth journey?
Is it even valid?
Cue the existential influencer panic.
This is where new year mental health conversations get messy. Because healing isn’t linear. It isn’t always pretty. And it definitely doesn’t always fit inside a 45-second video with sparkly captions.
Plot Twist: I’m Still Flawed
I am still sarcastic.
Still learning.
Still emotional on Tuesdays.
Still rolling my eyes at red flags — sometimes while ignoring them.
I still have days where I don’t want to meditate — I just want fries.
And that doesn’t mean I’m failing.
It means I’m human.
And I don’t want to fake healing online just to look like I’m spiritually tidy.
Authenticity Is My Only Resolution
Not “New Year, New Me.”
Not “rebrand the soul in 30 days.”
Just:
New Year. Same me.
Maybe better boundaries.
Maybe better skincare.
But same heart.
Because authenticity isn't a trend —
it’s relief.
This year I don’t want to:
• pretend I’m further along than I am
• filter my feelings into something inspirational
• shrink my truth into digestible quotes
I want to show the messy chapters too — the ones where I’m not glowing, evolving, or ascending.
Sometimes I’m just surviving.
Sometimes I’m just breathing.
Sometimes I’m just doing the bare minimum and calling it emotional Pilates.
And that is enough.
So Here’s My 2026 Energy
I’m done performing calm.
I’m done pretending closure came with same-day shipping.
I’m done healing on a timer.
If I grow — beautiful.
If I don’t — I’m still worthy.
Either way, my story is mine.
And maybe — just maybe —
healing happens faster when we stop trying to look healed.
For Anyone Reading This
If you feel behind…
If you feel messy…
If you feel pressured to “transform”…
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.
At your pace.
In your way.
Without applause.
And if all you manage this year is staying true to yourself?
You’re already doing the work.
Because authenticity is the real glow-up.
