I’ve always been more of a behind-the-scenes kind of girl. The one taking the photo, not the one posing in it. The one cheering from the background, not standing in the spotlight. And honestly, I was okay with that—until I wasn’t.
Somewhere along the way, Instagram convinced me I was supposed to want more. More likes. More filters. More flawless skin. More attention. Even as an introvert who prefers solitude over selfies, I started slipping into this quiet need for validation that didn’t even feel like mine.
It didn’t happen all at once. It started small—liking someone’s picture and thinking wow, she’s glowing, then glancing at my reflection like ugh, why don’t I look like that? I’d scroll past videos of girls with perfect lighting, perfect angles, perfect teeth, and suddenly I felt like I didn’t measure up. I began questioning things I’d never even thought twice about before. My skin. My smile. My body. My awkwardness. It was like the app held up a mirror, but only showed the parts I didn’t like.
And the wild part? No one ever told me to feel that way. It was just... there. Lingering.
Every now and then, I’d try to play the game. I’d post a picture I edited ten times and sit there, refreshing my screen like a fool, waiting for someone—anyone—to tell me I looked pretty. To validate something I wasn’t even sure I believed myself.
But that kind of validation? It’s a trap. Because the moment it comes, you want more. And when it doesn’t? You start wondering what’s wrong with you.
It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize I was handing over my self-worth to an algorithm. An app. A bunch of curated highlight reels and strangers who don’t even know me. And for what?
That’s when I had to pause and ask myself the hard questions: Do I even like being seen like this? Am I doing this for me, or for the illusion of approval?
I won’t pretend like I woke up one day and magically felt better. Healing that kind of self-esteem damage takes time. But here’s what I did do:
I unfollowed people who made me feel less-than, even if they weren’t doing anything wrong.
I started posting less and living more.
I gave myself permission to be seen when I felt ready, not when the internet expected me to show up.
I began writing affirmations that didn’t need a double tap.
And most importantly, I worked on giving myself the validation I kept chasing.
Look, I still catch myself comparing sometimes. But now, I catch it. And I check it.
Because my value isn’t something an app can measure.
If you’ve ever felt the same way scrolling through your feed—like you’re not enough unless you fit some picture-perfect mold—I want you to know: you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. You’re just human. A beautiful, imperfect, real human being navigating a digital world that sometimes forgets what real even looks like.
So if nobody told you today: you are enough. Even with no filter. Even in silence. Especially in silence.
You don’t have to perform to be worthy.
And you damn sure don’t need Instagram’s approval to shine.
