The holidays are supposed to sparkle — glittering lights, cozy sweaters, warm hugs that smell like cinnamon and forgiveness. But for some of us? The season feels more like walking barefoot through broken ornaments — smiling through the pain, pretending the glass isn’t cutting us open.
Because let’s be real: “Happy Holidays” hits different when you’re spending them around people who made you question your worth in the first place.
The Holiday Hustle of Pretending You’re Okay
You know that feeling when the “family group chat” starts buzzing in November, and suddenly everyone remembers how much they miss you? But these are the same people who ghost your emotions all year long — the ones who say, “Don’t bring up the past, it’s Christmas,” when the past is the very thing that scarred you.
That’s the unspoken rule of toxic family gatherings: keep it light, keep it fake, and for the love of eggnog, don’t ruin the vibe.
Meanwhile, you’re sitting there at the table, smiling through microaggressions, pretending the passive-aggressive comments don’t still echo when you drive home.
Emotional Abuse Wrapped in Tinsel
Emotional abuse during the holidays wears glitter like guilt. It sounds like:
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“You never come around anymore.”
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“You’ve changed.”
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“You think you’re better than us now.”
No, Aunt Carol — I just started healing.
People who thrive on control hate when you set boundaries. They’ll label your peace as “distance,” your self-respect as “attitude,” and your healing as “coldness.” But setting boundaries during the holiday season doesn’t make you heartless — it makes you whole.
Boundary Season > Holiday Season
If being around your family means shrinking yourself, walking on eggshells, or swallowing your truth — maybe you don’t owe them your presence this year.
Let me say that louder for the people in the back of your mind still clinging to guilt: You are not obligated to sit at tables that make you feel small.
The holiday season is not a test of endurance; it’s an invitation to honor your peace. You can celebrate alone, with chosen family, or with your kids in matching pajamas watching old movies — whatever keeps your spirit steady.
Sometimes “Merry Christmas” looks like blocking a number.
Sometimes “Happy Holidays” means hiding out in self-love instead of self-destruction.
And sometimes, silence is the most sacred tradition of all.
Healing Isn’t Anti-Family — It’s Pro-You
It’s okay to love people from a distance. It’s okay to stop explaining your boundaries to those committed to misunderstanding them.
The truth is, healing doesn’t ruin families — silence does. Avoidance does. Pretending does.
So if this year you decide to skip the dysfunction, don’t let guilt drive you back into chaos. You’re not abandoning them; you’re choosing you for once.
The holidays can be heavy when your heart still carries the weight of what you’ve endured. But healing doesn’t mean hiding forever — it means learning to decorate your peace, not your pain.
So light the candle, pour the cocoa, and toast to the version of you that finally learned: you don’t have to show up everywhere you’re invited, especially if it costs you your sanity.
This year, your peace is the present. 🎁
