There’s a version of love that leaves you empty. The kind that keeps you hoping while slowly bleeding you dry. I used to think love meant sacrifice. Compromise. Loyalty. Ride-or-die. But I’ve come to learn that love, real love, doesn’t feel like constantly begging someone to treat you like you matter. It doesn’t leave you curled up on the bathroom floor wondering what’s wrong with you.
Toxic love… it doesn’t change. It promises it will. It swears this time is different. But it doesn’t. It just learns new ways to hurt you while keeping you close enough to feed off your forgiveness.
I stayed longer than I should’ve. Maybe you did too. And I kept telling myself I just needed to be more patient, more understanding, more “chill.” But the truth is, I was shrinking myself to keep the peace. I was watering down my voice, dimming my light, walking on eggshells just to avoid another emotional landmine.
That’s not love. That’s survival.
And let’s be real—you know when it’s toxic. You feel it in your gut. The constant anxiety. The overthinking. The waiting for a text back that never comes or comes hours later with a cold “my bad.” The silent treatment. The blame-shifting. The manipulation disguised as “you’re too sensitive.”
I kept trying to resuscitate a relationship that was already dead. Pouring into someone who only showed up when they needed refueling. And every time I tried to walk away, they’d reel me back in with just enough attention to confuse me, just enough sweetness to make me question if I was overreacting.
But here’s the raw truth I had to learn the hard way: You can’t fix someone who benefits from breaking you.
Toxic love doesn’t need more chances. It needs distance. It needs boundaries. It needs closure without conversation.
I used to think choosing myself meant giving up. Now I know it means finally showing up—for me.
If you’re still in it, I know how hard it is. I know the war that goes on inside your head at 2AM, wondering if maybe, just maybe, this next time will be different. I know how it feels to miss someone who hurts you. I know how you blame yourself. But let me tell you something that no one told me soon enough:
You are not hard to love. They just didn’t know how to love you right.
Toxic love doesn’t change. It drains you. And you deserve to be filled, not emptied.
So if you’re waiting for a sign to let go, this is it.
Let it go before it drains what’s left of you.
P.S. If this blog felt like your story, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to figure it all out on your own either. I created a healing workbook that’s now available in the 4BiddenKnowledge Store. It’s filled with guided prompts to help you unpack the heavy stuff, protect your peace, and start choosing you again. If you’re ready to do the inner work, this is for you.
