Starting over is glamorized like it’s some kind of sparkly reset button. New apartment, new city, new relationship, new job—it all sounds like fresh air. But the truth? Starting over can feel like loss. Like grief. Like you’re mourning the version of yourself that lived in the “before.”
Nobody tells you that even when change is good, it’s heavy. You’re packing up not just boxes, but identities. The “me” that loved that person. The “me” that walked into that office every day. The “me” that laughed in that kitchen. Starting over means saying goodbye to who you were when things still felt steady, and that hurts.
It’s grief without a funeral.
Why Change Feels Like Grief
Because we don’t just lose people—we lose routines, safety nets, inside jokes, and the comfort of autopilot. Change forces us to rewrite the script we thought we’d keep performing forever. And the brain? It doesn’t like rewrites. It craves predictability, even if predictability was toxic, suffocating, or boring as hell.
So when you decide to start over, don’t be surprised if it feels less like empowerment and more like heartbreak. Yes, even if you were the one who walked away.
The Mental Load
Here’s the thing no one wants to admit: change isn’t just a to-do list—it’s an emotional workload. You’re expected to carry on, update your address, reintroduce yourself, reinvent your story. Meanwhile, you’re quietly battling the whispers of doubt: Did I mess up? Will I regret this? Who am I now?
It’s exhausting. It’s messy. And it can feel like grief because in a way, it is.
But Here’s the Flip Side
Grief is proof you cared. Proof you lived. Proof that the old chapter mattered. And starting over, even if it feels like ripping out pages, means you still have more story to write.
Don’t let anyone tell you change should feel easy. Growth rarely does. But hard doesn’t mean wrong—it means real.
So yeah, you’re grieving. But you’re also becoming.
💭 Your Turn:
Have you ever started over and felt the grief of change? I want to hear your story—drop it in the comments. Because starting over is lonely enough without pretending we’re the only ones who feel it.
